Elkwallow Wayside to Pinnacles Picnic Area – 14 miles
July 5th, 2020
Today started great and ended horribly. I woke up excited and slightly nervous about the forecasted heat and thunderstorms although the sun was shining at the moment. I packed up and headed towards the spigot I had discovered the previous night next to the wayside. In the picnic area I encountered the legendary Fresh Grounds who operates the mobile Leapfrog Cafe. Myself and several other hikers enjoyed the most amazing breakfast… endless amounts of bacon, eggs, fresh fruit, banana pancakes, coffee, juice…definitely a huge blessing. I met Gumby and Fixit… who were heading north and preparing to do the Four State Challenge
With a full belly I was in great spirits for the first mile of my hike until I realized I’d left my phone charger in Fresh Grounds’ van. I tossed my pack and hurried back to to the wayside, thankful he was still there. By this time his cafe was overflowing with hikers, and I resisted the urge to linger and socialize.
It got hot. And then it got hotter. And then it was hotter than hot. And the mosquitos started to feast. And it started becoming a little less than fun. I was thankful for the shade the trees provided. I reached the top of Pass Mountain and started my descent into Thornton Gap, lamenting the fact that each step down into the gap meant more climbing to get out of the gap. I crossed Highway 211 near Luray and started the climb that I had not been looking forward to. The climb was rocky and exposed. My precious shade was gone. After about an hour of climbing I stopped and took my pack off and leaned against the rock wall and thought I might doze off. I was exhausted and I knew I wasn’t even halfway up. I could hear thunder and saw dark clouds in the distance. I actually looked forward to the rain. I put my pack cover on and continued upwards, reaching Mary’s Rock about an hour later, just as the rewarding view at 3,500 feet disappeared completely and the downpour started. I took another break at an unnamed overlook and debated how much further I should go. Thankfully I had cell service and after consulting the wisdom of Jackpot I decided the Byrd’s Nest #3 would be my end point for the day… until I reached the shelter and decided I felt good enough and had enough daylight left to make it a bit further. Big mistake…
I decide to press on and climb The Pinnacle… it was only a 500 foot climb and seemed like a good idea at the time. After reaching the top and heading down the other side the familiar symptoms I’d experienced last year on the Roller Coaster started to surface. Dizziness, nausea, muscle cramping… “Here we go again” I thought… as the nausea progressed to vomiting. It was frustrating because I’d been doing a great job staying hydrated all day. It wasn’t dehydration. It was just exhaustion from overexertion… same as before. I need to do a better job of listening to my body and I should probably carry sports drinks in the future in addition to water. The muscle cramp in my calf was excruciating, but it makes for a great video.
So… having had luck the previous night camping at the picnic area I decided to press on to the Pinnacles Picnic Area, which was two miles further than the endpoint I had decided on. It was a rough two miles, I stopped drinking more than a few sips of water at a time due to the vomiting. It was Sunday on the 4th of July weekend and the picnic area was packed. Several people took notice of me and offered me food, including a family that was grilling some indian food that smelled AMAZING but I had to decline it all because I didn’t think that watching me vomit their delicious meal would make for a great ending to their picnic. I roamed around for about an hour, trying not to look too creepy while I sized up the camping situation. It was a very large picnic area. I was able to refill my water there, and there was a National Park Service bear trap on a trailer that I wondered how often was put to use. I waited until the last picknickers were gone to hang my food and begin setting up my tent. The indian family had several small children who were quite enthralled with me to the point that the youngest toddler was resisting getting in the car to leave because he was enjoying our exchange of jibberish and peculiar facial expressions. It was very amusing and I did my best not to look like a homeless kidnapper. I think the family was pleased that I was able to occupy the kids while they packed up their minivan.
I set up my tent along the perimeter of the picnic area, against the tree line. I was as far away from any object or structure as I possibly could’ve been. I got as far away from the parking lot as I could, which was a few dozen yards. I’d learned earlier in the morning from Fresh Grounds that the park rangers are pretty strict about enforcing the backcountry camping rules, as well as the car camping rules. He has apparently received some negative attention for sleeping in his van, which I of course think is dumb but rules are rules. I fell asleep a bit nervous but my exhaustion was greater than my anxiety. Until 10:30….
My eyes opened to a flashlight shining through the 100 micron thick walls of my tent. It flickered on and off and then the voice…”POLICE…I need to you to come out of your tent!”
“Ok, let me put my shorts on.” The light was now shining like the three octillion candles of the sun. I crawled out of my one person tent (that’s basically an over-sized coffin) to be greeted with hostility by a park ranger who appeared to be getting great pleasure out of blinding me by shining his 4,000 lumen lazer beam directly into my eyes. “Anyone else in the tent with you?” he snarked. I resisted the urge to smirk. The first response that came to mind was, “Yeah, its a VW clown tent. I’ve got fifteen other hikers in there with me. Let me go wake them up.” But I wasn’t brave enough to get mouthy with this guy and I just wanted to go back to sleep, so I went with my second option, which was “no”.
He told me to have a seat at the nearby picnic table, and didn’t respond well when I reached down to massage the cramp in my leg. “Keep you hands where I can see them!” So at this point I’m thinking maybe there’s serial killer on the loose who’s sleeping in a tent matching the same description as mine. After my momentary blindness resolved I noticed another officer standing about fifteen yards to the left of Officer #1. Officer #2 acknowledged my recognition of him by lowering his hand to rest on his holstered service weapon. I looked around to see if there was an Officer #3 and wondered when the tanks and chopper would arrive. Clearly I was missing something, and these guys were preparing to make the biggest bust in the history of Shenandoah. Officer #1 asked if I had ID. I told him it was in the tent. I asked if he wanted to see my camping permit. He asked for my name and date of birth and had a very lengthy conversation on his radio. He then asked me to spell my name and had another radio conversation. He asked my date of birth again and I think he also asked for my SSN. He asked me if I had a vehicle, where I started hiking, how I got there, where my destination was, my street address, my occupation…I sat there for about fifteen minutes and the more the interrogation continued the more convinced I was that I was going to prison for life for camping in a picnic area. I felt like Arlo Guthrie, being accused of littering and treated like a terrorist.
While Officer #1 was relaying my life’s history into his radio, Officer #2 decided it was his turn with me now… After telling them I was an ER nurse I suppose he decided to try to call my bluff… asking me my thoughts on how the cytokine storm relates to COVID, and a few other nonsensical tests. I guess I passed the test, because Officer #1 took over again and asked if I knew that camping in a picnic area was illegal. I acknowledged that I knew it was but that I hadn’t felt safe hiking on a 3,500 foot ridge in the darkness while trying to find a campsite after vomiting all evening. He appeared to care very little, because he demanded that I pack up and leave the picnic area. He did not, however, issue me a citation… which at that point I would’ve gladly preferred if it had meant I got to stay put.
I put on my headlamp and packed up my gear and headed off into the darkness. The place I threw my tent down was rocky and uneven and I barely slept. At least I had a great breakfast!!
Wherever I May Roam 